life lately

this is what my life has consisted of as of late:


                                                     


                                                   

Lady A Concert

Had a blast a 'bearadise'

                                                     

Pinterest addiction

                                                                 

Time with this little man

                                       

love.

Valentines day is a day for you to be completely in love... or if you're me its a day for you to go to the Lady A concert. Trae got the tickets for Christmas and unlike girls he can't go to a concert with just another guy so he gave them to me. It was an amazing concert:) They are so good live. Everyone there was pretty much in love but me&ky had the time of our lives!!

                                                 thompson squared. lady a. darious rucker.

Snow&Sweaty

Who doesn't want to go climb a mountain in the freezing cold, while they are sick with the flu, and stand there for 5 hours? Psh everyone does right? Well I did, and it wasn't as bad as I just made it sound. It was so much fun. There were about 4 couples that went up and we had a blast! To get up to a good spot to watch them come down the half pipe we had to hike up the mountain.. lets just say it was an adventure. We got a pretty good spot to watch them go, but at moments I think we had more fun watching people slide up and down the mountain. Lucky for me my date was awesome and made sure I didn't fall going up or down!:)

me and tanner

                                                                          

                                                                

we had an amazing spot. and tanner was a great photographer. 

                                                           

such a fun date

Right after I got home from the Dew Tour I headed up to USU for Mardi Gras with Kylie. Talk about one extreme to the other. I went from freezing cold to hot and sweaty. Gross right? It was lots of fun though:) 

mirror mirror

have you ever looked in the mirror, thought i look cute. take a picture and wonder what the heck happened? hello to my everyday life. but this is all about to change. time to hit the gym, shed the weight, and finally feel good about myself. take a picture and not hit delete or untag. tomorrow starts the new me. :) here we go!

the best is yet to come...

i found this tonight and it really hit me. 

i sure hope this is true.

life has surely been tough lately and i am just ready for it to turn around and go right. im ready for it to be my turn to have a good life. no more challenges.. at least not for awhile. my horoscope said that the longer i put things off the harder the decisions are going to be to make. so i guess its time for me to step up to the plate and start making life decisions.... here goes nothing.

tayten&brinley

i love being an aunt. more than anything. i can spend all day (and i usually do) with these two. tayten is such a fun little boy, he is crazy, loves running, being outside, and playing with pele. than we have our new princess brinley. oh the joy of having a little girl. the bows, ruffles, pink&purple, its so much fun. don't get me wrong i love having a little nephew but there is something about a girl that makes me so happy! moral of the story is i love these two so much and can't wait to watch them grow up.

becoming an aunt for the first time. welcome to the world tayten   

my little man

Brinley one month old

Love them to the moon and back

reality.

(be prepared for a long post)
for the past few weeks i haven't been myself. i have been really distant from those i was once close too, rather stay home then go out, dont respond to texts or calls. and for awhile i didnt know why. tell i got hit with reality. i have a broken heart. 


sounds lame i know but its the truth. 


when i was a junior in high school i started to date the most perfect guy. he was smarty, cute, religious, caring, he was everything i could have wanted and more. spending time with him was a dream. all of my friends were jealous of how good he treated me. we were the perfect couple. when he got his mission call there wasn't a doubt in my mind that i was going to wait for him. i was in love i knew what i wanted and it was him. the night that we said goodbye was probably one of the hardest nights of my life. watching him walk down my driveway knowing that i wouldn't see him for the next 2 years was so hard. but i had it all played out in my mind that our love wasn't going to change. and that we were going to make it and have a fairy tale life. i was getting letters weekly sometimes more then one.. then slowly as time went on the letters came less and less. i remember the first week i didn't get a letter. i cried for days. and as time went on a week turned into two, then three, then a month. when i would get them the 'i love yous' and the 'miss you babe' were missing. and soon it was like i was writing a complete stranger. dont get me wrong i know how important it is to stay focused on your mission, and i wasn't wanting him to be distracted. all i wanted was to know he still loved me. 


when it was time for him to come home i was so excited.. and at the same time i wasn't. i didn't know what was going to happen. he got home dec 12 2011. me and one of his friends went and wrote on the overpass as him and his family drove by. i figured i would see him later that night after he was released. well that day came and went. i was completely destroyed. he didn't want to see me? why hadn't he called? what happened to my fairy tale? it was another two days before i heard from him. we decided to meet on friday. before i left my dad came in and told me that no matter what i needed to be ready for the worst. when i saw him... it just wasn't the same. it wasn't what i thought it would be like. i gave him an awkward side hug, and we went in for ice cream. we sat there and i felt like i just talked the whole time. then he started saying how sorry he was. and i knew it was over. when we left he gave me another side hug and just said he was sorry. i left and didn't even cry. i didn't know what had just happened. and to be honest i still dont feel like i do. how could this happen? this isn't what i thought would happen. my parents cried and i just sat there. numb. they were waiting for me and still are waiting for me to deal with this and i can't. this is one thing that i dont know how long it will take before it will be okay. i still have a hard time when i hear his name or see a picture. how did all of that love just disappear?

whats the first step in fixing a broken heart. because time isn't helping.