this thing called growing up

i failed.
again.
i swear i go to blog.
even come up with something catchy to write about.
and then i get lost reading other blogs.
or pinterest.
or the boyfriend texts me
and the blog just gets neglected.

oops.

anyways.

everyone knows that when they were younger

13-18

growing up sounded like the best thing in the world.

no one can tell you what to do, what to say, how to act

you could do whatever, whenever.

and your parents (or maybe just mine) laughed

and said you don't know how good you have it.

this is one of those 

oh crap, my parents knew what they were talking about moments

don't get me wrong.

i love the freedom of growing up

but sometimes i hate it.

i just want to go back to when the biggest worry was what to wear to school

and if your friends were in your class.

(i wouldn't want to go back to high school

psh you couldn't pay me to go back

i just want the carefree life i had when i was there.)

now you have to worry about

putting gas in your car

making the car payment

having a good job

paying bills

and making life decisions...

...life altering decisions.

i am horrible at making decisions

its true.

ask anyone who knows me

and maybe this is my problem.

yes i have my dreams.

and my goals.

but when it comes to figuring out how to get there

i just wish i didn't have to decide

and someone would just tell me.

and since that isn't going to happen..

                                    this is what i've come to realize:

growing up is just that.

you have to learn lessons by yourself.

sure you have support 

but in the end its your life.

and how you want it to go is up to you.

some lessons you will learn the easy way

(thats always a nice way to learn)

or you have to learn the hard way

(this seems to be the way i like to learn....)

but either way at the end of the day

you've grown.

as easy at it would be to just be little again

we all know thats not possible.

so all we can do 

is hold on tight and try to do the best we can.